Curating… you are the disease, I am the curator | Stewart Lee

‘In preparing the All Tomorrow’s Parties “curation”, I undressed, lay on the floor, and attempted to visualise the whole history of human sound to a rhythm only I could hear’

The television food personality and chef Angela Hartnett, formerly best remembered as the Rod Hull to Gordon Ramsay’s Emu, is curating something called Kitchen Tales at the Chipping Norton Set’s cheese and music festival, Wilderness. But I can’t work out from the blurb if it is an exhibition, an event, a shop, or just some ingredients lying on the floor that you can look at. Nonetheless, it is reassuring to know that it has been curated, whatever it is.

My grandad was a sales rep for Colman’s Mustard. I expect today he would have to say he was a mustard plant compound retail opportunity curator! And he wouldn’t be able to say what colour the mustard was, in case it offended people with jaundice!! It’s political correctness gone mad!!! It’s worse than that!!!! It’s political correctness gone sanity challenged!!!!! And they’ve banned Christmas!!!!!! The cattery wouldn’t take Robin’s cat because they said it looked like Hitler!!!!!!!

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