My husband has turned into a fitness fanatic. What can I do? | Mariella Frostrup

The obsessive way a woman’s husband works out in the gym and at home is affecting both their lives. Mariella Frostrup says it’s a modern phenomenon

The dilemma My husband of 10 years has become obsessed with fitness. He has always had a fanatical nature, but the fitness phase is getting extreme. He’s at the gym twice a day – swimming in the morning and again after work for up to two hours. Our living room is cluttered with dumbbells and our small kitchen has been overtaken by tubs of protein (he hides them when we have guests). He doesn’t have the time to help me around the flat and he’s slashed sugar and carbohydrates from his diet, so I can’t cook anything meat-free or too carby. As he’s leaving for a workout he jokes that he’s “off to get some self-respect” – but now I think he actually believes it…

Mariella replies Now that’s a conundrum – although there are plenty who would prefer to contend with your problem rather than their own slothlike husbands’ unhealthy lifestyles. It’s hard to say: “You’re just too fit” in a way that does justice to your obvious frustration. Whatever way I try it, the phrase trips off my tongue as a compliment and even perhaps a leer.

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